How do I prepare for mediation?

27 January 2026

Family mediation can feel daunting, especially as emotions can be running high during separation or divorce. Mediation is often one of the most constructive ways to resolve disputes about children, finances or property whilst reducing stress, cost and delay which inevitably comes with going to court.

An initial meeting with your solicitor or initial call with a mediator can help you understand what to expect but I will cover here how good preparation and understanding of how mediation works can make the process more effective.

1.  Understanding the purpose of family mediation

Firstly, it is important to understand the purpose of mediation. Mediation is not about deciding who is right or wrong, or who is to blame for any relationship breakdown. Mediation focuses on helping both parties reach practical mutual agreements with the support of an independent and impartial mediator. The mediator does not take sides, and they cannot give legal advice, although they can provide legal information. Their role is to guide discussions and keep those conversations productive.

2.  Attending your Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM)

The first step is attending a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). This initial meeting with the mediator is an individual meeting whereby you and the mediator exchange information. The mediator provides information about how mediation works and your alternative options and you provide some background to your situation as well as your wishes for moving forward. This is the opportunity to ask the mediator any questions you have about the process and discuss any reservations you may have. The mediator will undertake an assessment as to whether your case is suitable for mediation.

3.  Think about your priorities

If you agree to move forward with mediation and the mediator has deemed it suitable, then you should consider what issues are the priority for you to resolve. If you need to reach an agreement in respect of any children, then it is important to consider what you believe to be in their best interests moving forward, rather than what would best suit you. For financial matters, there may be some short-term decisions that need to be made whilst mediation is ongoing, and you will need to think about what long term needs you have.

4.  Information gathering

Your next step would be to then gather some relevant information. For financial mediation the mediator will talk with you about financial disclosure and when this needs to be produced, however it would assist you if you have already started to gather information regarding, pensions, property valuations, income, debts and your outgoings. Being organised ahead of time can save time and ensure the joint mediation sessions are effective.

5.  Managing expectations

Mediation often requires both parties to compromise at some stage. Both parties need to enter mediation with an idea of their preferred outcome, but mediation works best when both parties are willing to compromise and negotiate. You are not likely to achieve everything you want but you are more likely to reach an agreement that you can both live with, and that a court would consider reasonable, if you manage your expectations. If emotions are high and you are not finding the mediation sessions constructive then you should discuss your options with the mediator.

6.  Understanding how mediation is funded

Both parties need to understand how the mediation will be funded. Most people pay for mediation privately and the costs can very depend on the mediator and location. With us here at Edward Cooke Family Law the MIAM is charged at a reduced hourly rate and the joint sessions thereafter charged at each mediator’s hourly rate. It is common for parties to split mediation costs equally, but this is not a rule. You can agree to share costs in a different proportion if that feels fair for you.

As discussed in our blog here, there is a family mediation voucher scheme provided by the Ministry of Justice which provides a voucher worth £500 (inclusive of VAT) per couple which can be used towards the cost of mediation. This applies to family law cases where the dispute includes children matters. It cannot be used for financial matters alone.

Mediation offers a flexible and cost-effective way to resolve disputes and with some careful preparation and measured approach you can increase your chances of a successful outcome.

If you would like some more information about mediation, we have more resources  across our website. Our Mediation FAQs and Family Mediation Guide are good places to start. 

If you would like to speak to one of our friendly team, please contact us via email or on 01243 769001.